I read an interesting post on Facebook yesterday. A friend of mine posted how, despite loving his kids deeply, he really wanted to be left alone for Father’s Day. You could feel the guilt he felt bleeding through the monitor. But he still posted it for all to see.
I get it.
As dads, we relish in those moments of peace and quiet where we can get outdoors, watch the game, read a book, work on a project, or do absolutely nothing without interruption.
For those of us who are or have been the primary caregivers, moments of peace and quiet are few and far between. Just when you get the kids down for a nap, you remember laundry must be done.
Based on our custody arrangement, my son is always with me on Mother’s Day and always with his mom on Father’s Day. So, I’m always without my son except for a few moments on FaceTime.
But I am OK with it.
My perception of holidays has changed in the several years since the divorce. Instead of focusing on the day the calendar (or Hallmark) tells me to focus on, I have a more holistic view.
I place high value on the moments I am with my son. They pass much too quickly.
I place high value on the time I have without him…time where I can take care of myself, invest in my wife and stepsons, and pursue interests.
I place high value on knowing the holiday is not as important as the moments in between.
Let’s make those in between moments count.
What holiday/special day would you most miss spending with your kids?